PENSACOLA - Pastor Jerry Tones of The Church At The Top of The Stairs in Pensacola said that he is taking one of the all-time great children's stories Bambi and he will be burning the book in his assigned parking space at his church as a protest.
The Reverend Tones said that he is doing it to call attention to the unfair hunting practices that Sarah "Snowflake" Palin employs.
He noted that to begin with Palin shoots her prey (no pun intended) from a helicopter.
Secondly she uses one of the most powerful telescopic rifles available on the open market or on the illegal market for that matter.
Thirdly, she has an assistant whose job it is, is to make sure that her deer feeder, a device that automatically puts out corn for the deer to eat, is working properly and shoots out corn kernels at 6 a.m. sharp.
So as a result all that "Snow Plow" Sarah has to do is merely show up, in shorts and a halter if she wants, and wait for "Bambi" to stroll by to get his daily morsels of corn and then BAM! It's bye-bye Bambi!
Reverend Tomes said that even his three-year-old niece Betty Letty Tomes could easily shoot a deer using that type of a set up.
The good reverend says that in burning the book Bambi he hopes that the ex-governor of Alaska and ex-future mother-in-law of the next mayor of Wasilla Levi Johnston reads about his book burning and contacts him.
He smiled and said that last year he won $2.3 million in the Florida State Lottery and he would gladly pay for the "Great White Woman Hunter" to fly to Africa and hunt man-eating cougars with a bow and arrow.
Tomes said that way "Boom Boom" Palin can scratch her crotch, spit on the ground, smoke a Cuban cigar, and show the world that she is truly one of "The Good Ol' Boys."
In a non-related story. Vice-President Joe Biden has stated that the rumors of him fantasizing about having sexual relations with Heidi Montag are totally false. The vee-pee said that he is allergic to plastic.