Written by Charpa93
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Saturday, 11 September 2010

image for Gainesville Pastor Changes Burn a Koran Day to Burn a Cher CD Day to Protest Homosexuality

On the eve of the anniversary of the bombings of 9/11, Terry Jones was still holding the media captive with his "will he or won't he" game regarding the burning of the Quran. At the eleventh hour, however, he finally made this announcement "While the Dove World Outreach Center is wholeheartedly against the Islamic faith, it understands how burning Korans may not be in the best interests of our military forces. Luckily, our church also despises homosexuality. Therefore, instead of burning Korans on 9/11, we have decided to burn Cher CD's."

Asked why they would burn Cher CD's, Jones replied "We hate homosexuality and we have it on good authority that most gay men hold Cher out to be their number one idol. They emulate her on stage and in gay bars and they have made her into something of a goddess. We have all this firewood and a good number of people coming out to watch us conduct a protest by burning something sacred. While we aren't going to burn Korans, Cher CD's are about as sacred to gay men as any Koran is to a Muslim."

The Cher CD burning should begin around 10 a.m. on Saturday and is expected to be followed by a barbeque and square dance. In all the drama leading up to the final decision on exactly what the church was going to burn in protest on Saturday, they completely forgot to draw up a solemn commemoration for the thousands of Americans who lost their lives on 9/11. Pastor Jones addressed this as well. "While we are exceedingly sorry for not coming up with an honor program to remember our slain American brothers and sisters, we do want to make it perfectly clear that this is an annual event and promise that next year, we'll do our best to come up with a more fitting program that has little to do with burning stuff."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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