ATLANTA, GA - Jonathan Klein, president of CNN lashed out at Pastor Terry Jones's decision to suspend the burning of Korans in Florida tomorrow.
"This is an outrage! Our viewers depend on us to bring them controversial news. Our shareholders demand value from their investments. Pastor Terry has single-handedly pulled the carpet from out from under us. With past media disasters such as Hurricane Earl and the premature end of the Iraq war, we rely on controversial stories to buoy our bottom-line. If real controversies can't be found, we will still find them. The idea that someone can change their mind just because of a moral epiphany is outrageous. This action will not stand!", said Mr. Klein before stepping into former Vice-President Al Gore's four-engine Gulfstream jet.
Mr. Gore and Mr. Jones are planning on speaking at a Global-Warming conference in Gainesville, Georgia - 45 miles from from Atlanta.