This story is probably a complete load of old bullshit, but here at Skoob News Inc. we've heard that members of the British National Party have been advising Pastor Terry Jones that if he wants to burn copies of sacred Islamic text, the Koran, that he has to do it properly or he might as well not bother.
Sources allege that leading BNP members have informed Pastor Jones that he'll need dry matches, and a bit of kindling wood in order to get the 200 or so copies of the sacred tome to set alight.
"It's no good fooking about when you're trying to burn books if they're moist," unemployed arsonist Jimmy McJizzle, of Croxteth, Merseyside told our reporter. "They've got to be dry, and they combust at Farenheit 451 according to me mate, Ray Bradbury, who I believe is now dead, or at the very least not well. You just can't burn damp books - it won't work. If you're thinking of burning books, you've got to do it proper. Like what we used to do with Man United programmes. You just can't do that with damp firelighting materials. It won't work."
A spokesman from the Health And Safety Commissariat told us:
"That's bollocks that is. You can fuckin' burn anything if you try hard enough. And Terry Jones knows it."
As the world holds its collective breath because of one man's stupidity...
We'll bring you more as we get it.
But not with inflammable, or combustible materials.