Written by Stevey G.
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Thursday, 9 September 2010

image for Pastor Terry Jones offers compromise over planned Koran-burning day
9/11 Pig-roast cancelled. Revellers will enjoy pizza and burgers instead.

In view of the international condemnation resulting from plans to burn copies of the Koran on the anniversary of September 11, US Pastor Terry Jones, has suggested that he may be willing to compromise.

'We set out to make a statement', explained Terry Jones earlier today. 'For too long we have had to endure acts of hatred and terrorism. We have stood by, impotently and watched as effigies of our President were burned alongside our flag. I accept that two wrongs do not make a right, but sometimes it just makes you feel better.'

The planned burning at the World Outreach Centre in Gainsville, Florida, has attracted world-wide criticism and as a result Terry Jones has suggested a number of concessions.

'I concede that the pig-roast, planned to accompany the book-burning, may have been in bad taste given the Muslim attitude to pork', conceded Terry Jones. 'Accordingly we will be serving burger and pizzas instead'.

Pastor Jones, who has allegedly received death threats as a result of his planned event and is now forced to wear a bullet-proof vest and carry an Uzi sub-machine gun, has seen his small congregation fall from 100, to just 8 as a result of the adverse publicity.

'I wanted to make a statement and feel that I have succeeded', said Jones. 'I do not want to put any of my congregation in danger and therefore propose that we cancel our plans to burn copies of the Koran on September 11th'.

'Instead', he continued, 'I propose a burn-a-mosque day. We can always use these old books that I've got lying about to start the fire'.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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