Written by rfreed
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Monday, 6 September 2010

image for The New "Its All About Me" Party
Everyone out for one thing- themselves!

A new political entity has formed that intends on usurping the most adamant followers of all other parties into its fold. It is called the "Its All About Me Party" and has astonishingly employed the core instincts and philosophies of all the other recognized political entities.

The I.A.A.M. Party appeals to those who are truly narcissistic- those who are only able to recognize their own needs to the obliviousness of those around them and to those of their own society. These are individuals whose heads are so far up their rectums that it is amazing they can even breathe.

Astonishingly the group is drawing in droves of those disenfranchised with their own parties pathways. It seems that many are disillusioned that their group is not meeting needs that need to be met. The IAAM is offering to take care of that problem.

Are you upset because Obama isn't giving the same attention to the issue of gay marriage that he is giving to removing troops from Iraq or to the economy? Why of course you're interests are more important than those other things! Join the IAAM and they'll pamper your soft behind.

Are your Republican buddies not letting you join their country club? Show your rogue side! Join the IAAM!

Is your local sheriffs Department concerned that you have a fully loaded and working Gatling gun mounted on your pickup truck and you have enough armaments to incinerate your entire town? Whose business is that anyway? Join up!

Don't want to pay any taxes at all and yet get all the benefits of society for free? Then you know where to apply!

IAAM will say an enthusiastic "Yes!" to whatever your selfish desires might be no matter what worry it might make for those around you. It doesn't matter if your factory poisons every fish, foul and feline for 100 miles downstream, the real question is 'Does it impinge on my freedom?' How inconsiderate it is for other people to complain about you poisoning their drinking water!

You want to use every drug possible and still drive down public streets or use machines that could maim someone else? Why should anyone stop you? Isn't that selfish of them? Only you and your ego have importance. If you kill someone in the process that is their tough luck.

This has the major parties worried. The Democrats are finding that those wanting to put a restraint on every move a business makes are leaving them. The Republicans are being abandoned by those who want to cut down every tree in the forest and put the guns into the hands of 5 year olds. The Socialists are losing everyone who wants everything to be for free. The libertarians have lost those who want to beat the government to death with a bloody club. They are in awe of the IAAM's drawing power.

The IAAM Party could be just the thing for you. It certainly is for the founders. If they can get enough people to blindly follow them and do the dirty work, then they have got easy street for the rest of their lives.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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