With Hurricane Earl packing 140 MPH winds and Master of Disaster Jim Cantori of the Weather Channel Broadcasting from the Banks of the Potomac President Obama issued a strong message of support for the soon to be ravaged East coast before being evacuated to Hawaii.
Before stepping into Marine I with his family and close staff and clutching his prayer rug, Obama urged all Democrats on the east coast especially in DC, Rhode Island, Connecticut and Massachusetts to 'bail out before the tide comes in and sucks you off!"
Barney Frank said he was looking forward to the impending experience despite the President's warning.
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs broadcasting from a secure bunker said the President was addressing the impending hurricane and not the mid term elections scheduled for November 2 as he tried to put a spin on the President's message.
With everyone gone from the White House, beleaguered and imperiled states could find no one to answer the phone in the Disaster Response Office , and in fact it is not known after the BP disaster if there was anyone left there or in FEEMA to respond to what could be the Hurricane of the Century for the already financially underwater states of Rhode Island and Massachusetts.
Reports out of Boston say that Governor Deval Patrick has ordered his pool drained and refilled with AVIAN water in case of disaster and has already had Obama's Aunt Zulu evacuated from her ground floor 6 room council house
in Newton and moved into a ski chalet in North Conway, NH 3000 feet above sea level.
In Rhode Island, lame duck congressman Patches Kennedy can not be found, causing close friends and family to assume he has started his hurricane party a day early and is afloat in Gin Gimlets wearing his life vest, Top Siders, Blue Blazer with Yachting Crest and Ascot whilst offering mouth to mouth to any barmaid within reach.
In Connecticut, Senate Finance Chairman Chris Dodd is said to be frantic after he found out his special mortgage from Angelo Mozilo, former disgraced head of the defunct mortgage company, Countrywide Financial, does not include flood insurance.
According to a local fencing wholesaler outside of Boston, demands for chain link fence, razor wire and ammunition has skyrocketed in recent hours.
"We can't keep up with it, "said Larry McCarthy, known locally as the fence king of Brockton, " nobody cares about plywood to secure their doors and windows, they're more concerned with keeping roving bands of democrats from breaking into their houses looking for food and battery operated big screen tvs...I'm making a F*******g Killing here!"
The national guard has been called out in Vermont to prevent any evacuees from Massachusetts or New York from fleeing to the state. Said socialist Senator Bernie Sanders , "This shit about helping the proletariat is ok to get elected, but I'm not sharing my food with anybody....BASTARDS!"