Written by Noshing Mink
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Thursday, 2 September 2010

image for Student who electrocuted his own nipples sues teacher - yes, it can only happen in America
This American student superglued his hands to his ears so he could sue the state of Massachussetts

An American student is suing his teacher, the school district and the city of Dover in New Hampshire for not telling him that electrocuting his own nipples is dangerous.

The 18 year old meat head voluntarily attached electric clamps to himself then threw a power switch. He was critically injured and his legal team claim he suffered cardiac arrest, unresponsive state and respiratory failure, as well as permanent brain damage. In his court papers, he alleges that the teacher knew what he was doing and promised him a Mountain Dew drink if he did it. However, he has since retracted this, saying that it was another student who made the promise.

Lawyers for the teacher, the school district and the town deny liability, saying "This is a totally absurd claim. Even if it is proved that the teacher was negligent, the student has clearly suffered no loss. He was obviously a bone head to begin with. Now he is a crispy bone head."

However, legal analysts say "A jury will probably side with the student, because this is America and you can sue anybody for anything."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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