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Wednesday, 1 September 2010

image for Naked Teenage Girl Dancers On The Internet Get Local Car Dealer Into Trouble!
"Uh Oh! We're Going To Catch It Good!"

Four teenage girls were sent home from Ballard High School in Cooke County, Tennessee when they showed up on the internet, dancing in the nude to a jingle about "Crazy Bob's" Used Car Emporium!"

Crazy Bob wound up with two black eyes and in the Cooke County hospital!

"Them girl's daddies wouldn't (whistle) listen to me ...I can't help that (whistle) noise. They knocked two of my front Teef out! It was that Garland boy what I fired about a month or two ago. He's the one got them girls naked and put my advertising on it."

Meanwhile, the sheriff's office phone was ringing off the hook, telling him about those naked girls on the computer that they HEARD were devil-like, though they hadn't seen it themselves.

Typical: "You need to arrest both Crazy Bob and them harlots. They weren't even trying to hide theirselves...not that I've seen it but I heard tell..and it came straight..what are you gonna do Sheriff? Everybody in the world can see those naked shameless beeps!"

Back to Crazy Bob whistling his version of what happened.

"I fired Garland's ass over a month ago and then he appears outa thin air (whistle) and tells me that was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Shook my hand. Then he told me he could get me free (whistle) advertising that would reach the whole state FOR FREE!"

"He said he worked now for a comeputer company & all I had to do is say, "We got the best home owned stuff in the whole state" and show my carlot. Well, I'm in it alright but what I point out in the video is four naked school girls singing a little song about the car (whistle) lot."

"Tar and feathers! That's what we need . Tar and feathers. Ohhh, I look like a big pregnant raccoon in that (whistle) mirror over there."

Back at the home of one of the girls, Sally Springer, her Ma finally let me talk to her. She had been crying.

"This Bernie Garland came over to the restaurant where me and my friend's meet and offered us a hundred dollars each to go outside, dance a little jig and sing a song he wrote about Crazy Bob's Used Car Emporium. It was kinda cute."

"Sally!"

"Sorry Mom. But when we looked where some of the kids told us to look on the computer, there we were, naked a jaybirds!"

"I've told the Sheriff to arrest that young Garland for his own protection. Somebody's going to shoot the rascal."

"Who", I asked.

"ME! for one!"

At the end of the day, Crazy Bob was helped back home and there was some apologizing and promising to buy a used car soon. It turned out that all the Garland boy had done was to use the girl's heads on the bodies of some nude video he had found. All the girls from school are over 18. They have been invited back to school and Garland is in jail..for his own protection...until "this whole thing dies down."

Last person I saw before leaving was Sally Springer. "We knew that those were our faces, Mr. Ingraham, but they weren't our tails. Finally someone listened to us."

This is Chester Ingraham.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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