Written by manbrad
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Topics: Iraq, War on Terror

Sunday, 29 August 2010

The 101st Keyboard Division, a group of pundits, bloggers and journalists who promoted and supported the Iraq war, will remain on alert despite the end of combat operations in Iraq. The division includes such luminaries as small circulation magazine editor William Kristol, often-divorced, drug abusing talk radio host Rush Limbaugh, columnist and weakling George Will, and former journalist Bill O'Reilly. Together with hundreds of lesser-known and less literate bloggers they formed the 101st Keyboard Division, bound together by their support for war from the safety of their computers and complete lack of military experience.

The 101st Keyboard was among the first to hit the airwaves and computers screens on October 7, 2001 in Afghanistan and on March 20, 2003 at the commencement of the Iraq War. The 101st boldly attacked opponents' patriotism while stoutly defending an unbroken string of flat out wrong predictions of imminent success. As opposition rose at home and each war dragged on the 101st Keyboard continued the fight from climate controlled offices and TV studios across America. Their loud, chest-beating support helped make both wars among the longest in U.S. history.

Not every member of the 101st stayed home, however. "Weekly Standard" editor William Kristol ventured to Iraq earlier this year and came back convinced of victory. The always grinning Kristol, who puts many in mind of a living Jack-o-Lantern, spent an entire day and a half in the fortified Green Zone before venturing out into Baghdad in a heavily armed convoy. Peering out of a tiny viewing slit in the armored personnel carrier he rode in, Kristol glimpsed the midsections of surviving Iraqis and small portions of unexploded buildings. When the half hour tour was concluded Kristol tweeted an upbeat assessment to the Weekly Standards' 90 paid subscribers, "@stol We won! I'm finally right about something!" The message was not immediately relayed as Twitter concurrently suffered a brief outage caused by a surge of tweets following a devastating bombing in downtown Baghdad that killed over 100 people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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