Written by Karen Fish
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Topics: Mosque, Ground Zero

Sunday, 29 August 2010

Many people are up in arms about the ground zero mosque. What better place than the ground zero mosque to hold constructive debates than the site of the 9/11 attacks? Today ground zero mosque Imam Feisal Rauf announced that next week coinciding with the beginning of the Palestinian Israeli peace talks in Washington, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef will be debating Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been pleading for years to debate with President Obama but today Don King announced, "You can't just go directly to a title fight. There are many challengers waiting in line for their shot. I should know; I own them all. You can't imagine how these big strong men are always whining like babies, "I want a title shot. Why aren't I getting a shot?" It never ends. I tell them, "Take your steroids and relax. The time will come. It will all work out in the end."

So next week Don King Productions is promoting the first ground zero mosque debate between the President of Iran and the spiritual leader of the Shas Party holding up the Israeli coalition government, Rabbi Ovadia Yosef. Tzipi Livni actually won the Israeli election but when she couldn't gather enough coalition support, 61 seats, Benjamin Netanyahu succeeded with the help of the Shah's party.

The Shah's party ended at the hands of Ayatollah Khomeini, a Rocky Balboa type of comeback kid. General Alexander Haig said at the time, "Prior to his takeover of Iran Ayatollah Khomeinei was camping near Paris giving daily news conferences to a fawning international press corps without a murmur of complaint from the United States about the disaster it was coddling in the incredibly naïve liberal belief that this extremist cleric would be an improvement over the Shah."

Ayatollah Khomenei was replaced by Ayatollah Khamenei and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. President Ahmadinejad is a world renowned Jew Hater along the lines of Mel Gibson, also on the ground zero mosque debate calendar, going up against Oksana Grigorieva and Maria Sharapova in a Cold War reprise from Valley of the Dolls starring Sharon Tate.

Orly Taitz is now demanding a birth certificate from Korean golfer Michelle Wie who claims to have been born in Hawaii and can only seem to win in Mexico and Canada. In 1979 Khomenei declared the last Friday of Ramadan as al-Quds Day, in which Iranians protest against the existence of Israel and the liberation of Jerusalem, al-Quds. Ayatollah Khomenei's successor Ayatollah Khamenei referred to Israel as a cancerous tumor. If you surgically remove the "o" from Khomeinei and replace it with an "a" you have Khamenei. The ailing Supreme leader is to be replaced by Ayatollah Khumenei. It's a mathematical vowel replacement strategy designed so as not to confuse the Hidden Imam.

According to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he has documentary evidence which proves that the Uniited States is conspiring to prevent the return of the Mahdi. President Ahmadinejad, with the assistance of General Colin Powell is to present this slide show at his debate this week at the ground zero mosque against the spiritual leader of the Shas Party Rabbi Ovadia Yosef.

President Ahmadinejad, the leader of the democratically elected Hamas government in Palestine is well known for denying the Holocaust and calling for the incineration of Israel. Not to be outdone, today Rabbi Ovadia Yosef born Abdullah Youssef on September 23, 1920 in Basra, Iraq, (He's turning 90 just after 9/11) has denounced the Israeli Palestinian peace talks, calling the Palestinians and their leader "evil and bitter enemies of Israel who should perish from this world. God should strike these Palestinians and their leaders with a plague." 2010 has seen the whole world stricken with human and natural disasters, except for the Israelis and the Palestinians. Perhaps the Ground Zero Debate this week will kick start their plague, which will envelope the whole world with a nuclear plague, so that finally we can get over our obsession with Paris and Lilo.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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