MARICOPA COUNTY, Arizona - One of the most famous sheriffs in the entire United States, the legendary Joe "Pinky" Arpaio sat at a Jack-in-The-Box having a cup of coffee.
He was asked by a reporter for The Discovery Channel if he had heard that the $1 million bounty that the Pinata de Queso Drug Cartel of Tijuana had put out on him had been doubled.
"Why hell no...I was not aware of that. So the Tijuana muchachos have upped the bounty on me huh?"
Arpaio was told that the bounty had been doubled to $2 million but that it had been doubled by The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel of Yucatan. He was also told that the "GG" hombres were also throwing in a year's supply of Corona Beer.
"Pinky" was asked if he was worried. He paused for a moment and then remarked that he was more worried about getting attacked by the Chupacabra. He was then asked if he was concerned. He answered that he was more concerned with getting bit by a rabid rabbit.
Arpaio then placed his arms behind his head and said that he is too old, too tired, and too stupid to be scared. He said that he is not afraid of any of the south of the border drug cartels because he wears a bullet proof vest, bullet proof Nikes, and a bullet proof jock strap.
He said that he has also been fitted with a new technical electronic device which sets off a series of beeps whenever a drug cartel member gets within 20 feet of him.
He said that it was devised by the same manufacturing company that produces the world famous iVibrator 7 vibrator, the Eager Beaver Adult Sexual Aid Company of Beaver, Pennsylvania.
SIDENOTE: Sheriff "Pinky" Arpaio recently told a reporter for The Mexicali Daily Tortilla newspaper that he is willing to meet with any member or members of either the Tijuana Pinata de Queso Drug Cartel or The Yucatan Green Guacamole Drug Cartel in Nogales, Mexico, to discuss the matter of these dumb, stupid, pieces of sh*t bounties they have placed on his head.