The Mayor of Hog Jaw has only himself to blame for not taking advantage of the opportunities presented to him these past few weeks when a couple dozen or so Hog Jaw news items mysteriously started making their rounds on the internet.
Mayor Humphrey Dumpty held a special town meeting to apologize to the town folk for letting them down. "To think of all the missed opportunities we had, especially in the way of reality television shows!" said Dumpty. "Can you imagine the enormous amount o' folk who'd turn in to see our own version of Snooki and the Situation? Hell, they could make a whole show just offa them Pumpkinheimer Triplets, Steffy, Effy and Geffy (she's the one thet got the sex change op'ration.)"
"Then thar's Daincin' wit' th' Stawrs," said Dumpty. "Miss Edna Farkle down at the Hog Jaw Arthur Murray Studios is the finest fox trotter this side o' the delta. Dang, she coulda dainced circles around any of them other daincers, specially that city girl, Kate Gosselin."
Vice Mayor, Clem Jerkey, agreed. "Whilst I don't really cotton to all them reality shows, I do watch that Dawg the Bounty Hunter feller cause'n he's so dang brave. An' I do likes to see that Exterminatin' feller Billy go after them squirrels in people's attics. Though I don't rightly know why he just set 'em loose, stead of takin' 'em home an' makin' a nice stew outta them little critters. Now thay's good eatin', said Clem.
Yes, Mayor Dumpty is once again kicking himself for missed opportunities, but on the bright side, this way, Hog Jaw will always stay the same, and that's good enough for most of the folks who've lived there all their lives.