Titusville FL: The planning committee for Titusville's participation in International Breast Appreciation Day has run into some rocky mounds in getting ready for September 20, 2010.
The boobs on the committee wanted to extend National Penis Day, held in August 2010, to coincide with the local Breast Appreciation Day celebration. Committee members noted that last year's celebration had sagging attendance numbers. Some members went so far as to say the attendance last year sucked!
Hooters Inc, the caterer, cancelled their participation leaving only melon, coconut, cupcake, devil's dumpling and milk jug vendors. To make matters worse Dolly Parton, the Grand Mistress of the parade developed a chest cold and cannot officiate at the festivities.
Then the "Go Topless" organizations showed up demanding a rack on one of the parade floats. This request really split the committee membership into two factions. Victoria's Secret and Maidenform immediately canceled their participation on hearing about the topless crowd.
Two of the yahoos on the planning committee and two ying-yangs from the topless crowd approached Rosie O'Donnell to be the Grand Mistress of the parade. Negotiations are being held behind closed doors, no knockers allowed, about whether Rosie will be on the topless float.
The head committee goombas have cancelled the celebration, as all these flapdoodles have torpedoed any chance of surmounting the many obstacles in the way. The committee recommends that TV reruns of Twin Peaks or Celebrity Naked Mud Wrestling be watched instead. Tatas to everyone!