Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: Death, shotgun

Thursday, 26 August 2010

image for Thinning The Herd: The Joaquin Medina Story
Catch, a--hole!

Thank the good Lord for His wisdom: Whenever the collective intelligence of a particular herd drops perilously low, Nature will find a way to thin the herd, ensuring its survival.

Such was the case of California ranch worker Joaquin Medina, 28, who was the subject of a Darwinian harvesting, after being killed by a fallen tree branch while on the job in Chico, CA.

Of course, Nature doesn't often dangle murderous branches above the general public, like some arborous Sword of Damocles; indeed, the offending branch was set into motion by Medina himself.

Did you know?

Hunting squirrel with a 12-gauge is like hunting turkey with a grenade: A 12-gauge with 7 1/2'' lead balls will infiltrate and destroy the chest cavity of a 12-point buck, ffs!

Seems that on a tepid Monday in July, Senor Medina took it upon himself to rid the world of a few squirrels, using a 12-gauge shotgun as his means to their end.

At shortly after 12:30 PM, Medina mistook a large tree for a nine-inch, nut-hording vermin, and delivered a fatal shot to the offending tree's midsection.

The shot proved fatal only to its deliverer; a single shotgun blast ripped free a large branch, which promptly hurtled into Medina's noggin, shutting off the lights for all eternity.

"Yo amo mi nino, me encanta mi bebe, claro," declared Medina's mother, largely nonplussed after being informed that her offspring prdeceased her. "Pero, que pinche estupido. Bobo."

Coming Soon: Thinning the Herd; The Jenny Mitchell Story, abou a girl whose desire for blonde hair, and 2 lungfulls of Marlboro-smoke ended her life.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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