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Monday, 23 August 2010

image for Throckmorton P. Turdblossom Hired To Teach Philosophy At Squirrel Holler County Communtiy College
Turdblossom promises to wear his teeth on the days that he lectures.

Famous philospher and writer Throckmorton P. Turdblossom has been hired to teach at the Hog Jaw, Arkansas campus of Squirrel Holler County Community College. Turdblossom brings with him the credentials necessary for the job and becomes the highest educated person in the faculty. He is the author of the best selling books The Wit and Wisdom of Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, More Wit, Wisdom and Ideas To Live By From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, and A Third Helping of Wit and Wisdom From Throckmorton P. Turdblossom.

Throckmorton was an only child and was born to Lamont Turdblossom and his sister Beulah in 1947. Turdblossom graduated at the top of his class from his home schooling and went to International Business College to earn a degree in typewriter repair. The military had other plans, and he was drafted into the army to serve his country during the Vietnam war.

While guarding the U.S./Mexican border from Viet Cong spies in Fort Huachuca, Arizona, he was awarded the purple heart for being speared with a Spanish Dagger during a routine mission. This award was removed when the government found out that a Spanish Dagger is a cactus and not a weapon.

While in Arizona, he managed to attend night school and completed an Associate's degree in Waste Management Collection. This came in useful when he ran the three truck fleet of sanitation engineers in Ballsack County, Oklahoma. He worked nights there also and completed his Bachelor's and Master's degrees in Waste Management Removal and Waste Management Engineering.

In a written response to our request for information, Turdblossom said that "I hope to be able to share the great knowledge and business experience I've gained. I've got a dream to help our youth grow in knowlege and experience. If they leave school with knowledge and experience, then they have the knowledge and experience they will need to succeed in the work place. The world and the job market are looking for people with knowledge and experience."

Turdblossom will be teaching Philospophy at the Community College. When asked his own philosophy of life, he said "don't piss upstream of your drinkin' water."

The new semester at the school starts Monday. Persons (and students) wishing to take Turdblossom's Philosophy 101 should register at the same place where they register for the rest of their courses, the registration building.

Make Throckmorton Turdblossom's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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