Written by Charpa93
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Monday, 23 August 2010

image for Bedbugs Prompt Muslims' Decision Not to Build Mosque Near Ground Zero

NEW YORK CITY, New York - It wasn't the fact that the controversy got to be too much for the Muslim community that made them finally decide not to build a Muslim Cultural Center and Mosque near the site of the 9/11 tragedy. It was bedbugs. Many Muslims, like most New Yorkers, simply can't stand the critters and feel that if they went ahead with plans to build their Mosque on that site, they'd have to constantly tent the place to make sure the bed bugs didn't keep repopulating in the holy space.

In fact, it's not just Muslims who don't want anything to do with building in the heart of New York anymore. Several building projects have been put on hold due to the fact that bedbugs are everywhere and the problem is growing minute by minute. Stores are boarding up and moving to other cities. In fact, Saks Fifth Avenue is moving to Kansas City, Missouri and changing its name to simply Fourth Avenue after the main road that runs though Kansas City. Said a Saks Fifth Avenue spokesperson, "That is the only city that would take us, bedbugs and all."

Mayor Bloomberg says the whole thing is just a little too overwhelming for him. He has seen far larger crises loom on New York City's horizon in the past and it hasn't brought the city to a standstill, but for some reason, the bedbugs crawling all over the city has given everyone the heebie-jeebies and people are moving out in droves.

The Mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa, is said to have already warned Bloomberg that his city is considering a quarantine to keep New Yorkers who frequently fly between the two cities out of Los Angeles until pest control experts in New York can get the problem under control.

Mayor Bloomberg and the Muslim Imam were scheduled to hold a joint press conference on the matter Sunday; however, due to both men's reaction to the bed bug news, neither felt they would be able to stand still long enough to answer questions due to intense itching bouts.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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