WASHINGTON - Having created and signed into law last April the McCarthy Patriot Act, President George W. Bush has finally named his first recipient for the Religious McCarthyism Award: Senate majority leader Dr. Bill Frist.
"Dr. Bill Frist is a shining example of a McCarthy politician," said Bush during a special Oval Office press conference. "Frist is definitely the leading Christian spokesman in Washington today, and he is tireless in promoting my non-secular agenda for the American people. He knows that ridding America of the homosexual threat is first and foremost in reclaiming our country for Jesus."
"I will also be heavily endorsing Dr. Frist as the Republician candidate of 2008," Bush added. "I have already seen to it that those ridiculous Medicare fraud allegations against his family-owned business, the Hospital Corporation of America [HRC, Inc], have been swept under the judicial rug."
Bush then set Frist on his knee so that Frist could give his acceptance speech.
"Thank you, Mr. President, for your faith in me and Jesus," mouthed Frist. "As you know, I support all your policies 200% and I'm proud to live in a country that values Christians instead of Satanic diversity. God in Heaven smiles on you daily because you are the best Christian to ever walk the earth, not to mention the most handsome and intelligent man to ever serve as president."
Visibly blushing at the mountainous praise heaped on him by Frist, Bush wept.
Frist, who earlier this week attended a gay bashing rally in Louisville, KY, said he was humbled by the award. During his appearance at the rally via simulcast, he refreshed his pledge in support of euthanasia or lifelong incarceration for all gays, lesbians and Americans not of the Christian faith.
"We, the straight and Jesus-loving people of America, must reclaim our country from all Satanic forces be they gays, abortionists, non-Christians or damned Yankees," declared the Tennesse-born Dr. Frist. "For too long, we have touted this country as one of blanket freedoms but there are some freedoms we must simply not tolerate. Let us stand as one Christian body politic to declare spiritual war on everyone who doesn't agree with us - this is the core of my Jesus mandate for America."