Written by Chilly Willie
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Topics: Space, Space Shuttle

Monday, 25 April 2005

Breaking news out of Cape Canaveral today as Space Shuttle Suppository blew up while sitting on the run way this afternoon.
The shuttle, which had originally been set for launch earlier in the previous week had been grounded when it failed its last exam and it was discovered the shuttle had been sneaking out after curfew with much older Shuttles.
An unidentified Nasa spokesperson said confidentially that Suppository looked "very mature for her age" with her "considerable rocket boosters and ample fuel tank"
The cause of the explosion is still listed as "unknown" at this time but traces of x-tasy and crystal meth were found in the debris.
This comes as a shock considering the recent safety provisions Nasa has made including: Replacing the outer wings black tile covering with a much more resistant particle board material with a heavy coating of water seal, removing the foam covering of the fuel tank and replacing it with a much more durable and strong flint outer covering. Other features such as Passenger side airbags, Anti-Lock Brakes,and allwheel drive were also installed and the 8 track player was upgraded to a 20 cd changer with 12 inch subs. The Shuttle had scored the highest in class on both side impact and rear impact in its latest crash test results.
No one was killed in the accident but an alligator was slightly injured when a large piece of the Shuttles nose cone fell on the creature while he was eating a local fisherman. The incident sparked a protest of NASA by PETA attended by 5 people and a nude woman decorated as an alligator.
Former President Bill Clinton was on hand touring the location and expressed his displeasure with the PETA protest but did support their right to protest by declaring that "woman should have the right to go nude and paint themselves as any type of animal they want to be, I not only support her efforts but encourage other women to take the the same steps as this brave young woman" Clinton later noted that he would be in Cleveland Ohio next week and had heard rumours of birds being inproperly caged at the Cleveland zoo.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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