Written by Marc
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Monday, 14 July 2003

Billy Jenkins had been warned by his mother on numerous occassions: "Billy, it's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out!" Never one to listen to his mother, 8-year old Billy continued his rambunctious ways. Now, the fun and games have indeed ended.

On July 10th, Billy poked out the eye of friend Timmy Smith, thus ending all fun and games for the rest of his life. It happened during an especially heated game of "Star Wars: Old School," a game frequently played by Billy and his friends. In this game, Billy and his pals would play the role of different Star Wars characters, beating the crap out of each other in the process. It was called Old School because, as Billy puts it, "we couldn't choose any characters from those prequel pieces of crap."

On this particular day, Billy had chosen to be Luke Skywalker, and Timmy was Darth Vader. During an especially heated "battle," Billy lunged at Timmy with his laser (stick), and poked Timmy in the eye. What happened next changed Billy's life forever. "The stick was stuck in Timmy's eye, when I pulled it out the eye came with it." Holding that stick with an eye at the end of it, the familiar words of Billy's mother came back to him: "It's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out."

The fun and games had indeed ended. As Billy puts it, "Timmy's no more fun to play with, having one eye and all. The rest of my friends really don't want to play with me either, it's been a nightmare." Billy spends most of his time now watching TV and dreaming of what could have been. "If only I had listened to my Mom, this could have been avoided."

His mom agrees. "I told him a million times that the fun and games ended when someone got their eye poked out, and he had to test me. Well, I think he got what he deserved. I still love my son, but he has to learn to listen."

Timmy's parents are ready to forgive and forget. "I think Billy's been through enough," Mrs. Smith says. "An 8-year old boy, no more fun and games? What kind of life is that? At least Timmy has the potential for further fun and games in his life, if only he had friends."

For their part, Billy and Timmy still speak on occassion, but "the incident" is rarely brought up. They are set record a Public Service Announcement for their local TV station, alerting other kids to the dangers of poking someone's eye out. "If we can reach just one other kid, this will be worth it," says Billy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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