Written by Charpa93
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Tuesday, 17 August 2010

image for Hog Jaw Daily News: Injuries Down at This Year's Frog Giggin' Competition

HOG JAW, Arkansas - This year's frog giggin' competition down at Boggy Hollow Creek got underway last Saturday night with Bubba Joe McKinny taking an early lead capturing near 47 frogs. Priscilla Smappy took a close second with 42 frogs, but was dang near disqualified after it was discovered that she had duct-taped an extra 10 inches to her giggin' pole in violation of the rules. The fellers let her causa the accident she suffered in last year's tournament that left her with a terrible drag on her left foot keeping her from being able to get around the bog as easy as everyone else.

Speaking of injuries, this year has seen quite a few less injuries than in past years frog giggin' competitions and the folks here in Hog Jaw believe it's a causa the technology has gone 20th century. A few of the giggers was able to purchase a pair of night goggles from down at the Hog Jaw Five and Dime Store and that has cut way down on accidental stabbins. Everybody who's ever suffered a pokin' agrees them goggles is a blessin.

Sam Spivens and his son, Skeeter, both Hog Jaw deputies brought along their new-fangled taser guns and was a zappin' them frogs right outta the water like they was Mexican jumpin' beans. We all had a good laugh over that, but all they ended up with was two or three frogs at best. The rest sunk to the bottom of the bog for a few minutes and then just hopped away. In fact, Bessie Mae Tickerbottom thinks maybe the electrical shock actually gave them frogs more gumption to high tail it away from the giggers. So the tasers were holstered and the frog giggin' continued without the help of scientific technology, like it's been done for centuries in Hog Jaw, or at least for the last 40 or so years.

This coming Saturday night is the last night for the competition, so if you want to get in on the action, you better get yerself down here. The action starts just as soon as the Hog Jaw Sports Bar over on Route 327 closes up. Sheriff wants to remind everyone if you drink and drive, jest do it when he's looking the other way or after he's already made it to the holler or he might have to arrest you and he don't honestly wanna deal with paperwork during the annual tournament.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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