Written by shea lo
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Topics: Elvis Presley, Ghost

Monday, 16 August 2010

image for Ghost of nude fat Elvis seen by fans at Graceland vigil

Thousands of Elvis fans from all over the world have thronged in Memphis to attend the annual candlelight vigil and procession. This year marks the 33rd anniversary of the American singing icon's death.

Elvis Aaron was 42 years old when he died at his Graceland mansion on 16 August 1977.

Early this morning, as solemn fans - aka Elvii - carried candles walking silently past his grave, word was received that a ghostly apparition closely resembling a nude and very fat Elvis had been seen weaving its way in and out of the crowds.

Many of the Elvis-faithful swarmed over each other to touch the apparition but failed. They swore on their Viva Las Vegas albums that the ghost left behind the typical Elvis smell of 'peanut butter and fried bananas'.

Mourners fainted, emergency medical personnel were called out in droves and throngs of overweight fans caused a stampede as they rushed to touch the ghostly Elvis.

66 year-old Armalee Crushwaite, a long-time roadie and well-known stalker was hysterical:

"Omagawd....Omagawd...Ah touched him, nude, fat Elvis ...Ohmagawd...it was Elvis....Ah could sure smell the peanut butter and bananas. It was just like ma Mama made - only she added whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles and butterscotch sauce with pickles on the side .....Ohmagawd ....Ah think ahm gonna die"

A slightly more restrained Willy Weasel, a former lighting technician who also claims to have seen ghostly Elvis told your reporter:

"Waal....it were like this....we wuz walkin' an' talkin and singin' Love Me Tender - an' he jes come out of nowhere...ghostly-like. But he done no harm, he jes walk among us...lak the Lor' himself done, jes walked among us"

He corroborated the statement of the other ghostly viewers regarding the peanut butter and fried bananas smell, chuckling with fond reminiscence:

"Yep, sure did... mmmmm.....mmmm. Man, that boy, he sure liked his PB 'n' FB... could eat it triple-decker style ....mornin', noon 'n' nite....heh-heh-heh. Reckon that what done kilt him."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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