Written by P.M. Wortham
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Monday, 16 August 2010

image for Smegma Falls, Idaho; Still World's Worst Named City
The actual waterfall just outside the city limits of Smegma Falls

Reuteers News Wire - Failing to pass a city wide vote and change its name to "Odiferous Valley", the modest town of Smegma Falls, Idaho, will still hold onto its title of "World's Worst Named City" as tallied by independent audit firm of Harold Bawlsak & Company.

Entered in the annual National Geographic Association competition in 2009, Smegma Falls had won on votes, beating out international favorites like, Cockburn Austrailia, Middlefart, Denmark, and Wetwang, England. "We didn't really care for this type of attention, which is why we tried to change the city's name", says new city mayor, Philip DeDikcheze. "Call me Phil, please". Again voted tops in 2010, Smegma Falls will retain its dubious international title until 2011 voting begins next June. "We thought we could get the name changed, but there simply wasn't enough support", says DeDikcheze.

According to local residents, the town name had little to do with the look, or smell of a certain unmentionable vaginal discharge, but rather reflected the name of the pioneering farmer who founded the town, Enus Smegma. "The Smegma family still homesteads a couple of ranches and farms near town. It would be a kick to the groin if we changed the name", says barbershop owner, Fred "Fuzzy" Noggins.

Others in town agree, going to lengths to show their pride in the small city they call home. Phil DeDikcheze explained about the new investment in their local library, upgrades to the community septic system and their participation in the upcoming "Miss Rap Music America" competition to be held in Newark, NJ this fall. "There was some trouble in locating a willing participant to represent our state, but it was our own little Carrie Boinkington from Smegma Falls High School, who stepped up to the challenge", says DeDikcheze. Apparently nobody wanted to claim to be Miss Idaho in the competition.

No word yet as to future attempts to right what some still feel as a wrong name for the town, but Noggins feels like the original name will stick, "Just like the real thing does when you throw it against the wall", says Noggins. "Some people have funny names and that's all there is to it. That doesn't mean they don't contribute to the success of a town."

Next part to our continuing Smegma Falls series will feature local Kirby Vacuum Cleaner retail shop owner, Hugh Suckman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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