Written by fishnluers
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Topics: Food, McDonalds

Friday, 22 April 2005

image for McToe! Severed appendage found in McNuggets
11 Piece + 1?

ORLANDO, FL - Another bizarre case involving popular fast food restaurants and missing body parts surfaced this week in an Orlando, FL area McDonalds restaurant.

Birch Baggett's claim that he bit down on a deep-fried big toe adds fuel to the fire in an already incensed fast food industry searching for human remains in its food. Last month, Anna Ayala of San Jose, California claimed she found a partial finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Wendy's emphatically denied any wrong doing, and the "source" of the finger has yet to be found. Ayala has been a source of discredit in the media as she has been linked to several litigious claims against corporations.

Mr. Baggett, 32, in a statement filed by his attorney alleges that on Wednesday afternoon he bit down on one of his 12-piece McNugget morsels and instead of McChicken, found a severed big toe. Mr. Baggett "thought it was just overcooked," before spitting out the batter-covered toe, at which point he became nauseous. The toe, which was saved and is now part of his evidence against McDonalds, is described in the statement as being large, with a partially painted nail. "I'm glad I didn't order the Chicken Selects," says Baggett.

The McDonalds corporation also issued a statement following the appendage allegations. "McDonalds is conducting a thorough investigation into this matter. Although the likelihood of this being a hoax exists, our company's reputation is at risk, and we will have the responsible parties found & held accountable."

According to store manager Saul DiCapriatino, the missing toe did not "run wee, wee, wee all the way into the deep fryer" from any of his employees. "All of our toes are accounted for," states DiCapriatino, who has been a store manager for 8 months. "Although we are missing a belly ring and a dental bridge."

Orlando police detective Chad Spincks stated that no charges have been filed, and that no "missing toe" reports have been issued. He also stated that there is an ongoing investigation into the McDonalds, and that DNA testing is being performed on the big toe.

Back at the scene of the order, customers remain suspicious. "I eat here all the time," says Cleetus Griggs, 83, "and I've never found anything suspicious in my food." It's remains as unclear as Big Mac drippings as to whether this McToe saga will tarnish the polish on McDonald's squeaky clean, manicured toenails.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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