Written by anthonyrosania
Print this

Saturday, 14 August 2010

image for Tila Tequila Auditions for, Then Is Savagely Beaten By, Juggalos At Concert
Hey, Tila! CATCH!!!

Tila Nguy?n, the academically challenged television whore known as Tila Tequila, is having her face sewn back on at a suburban Chicago hospital, after being unceremoniously removed from the stage of an Insane Clows Posse concert by ticket holders with rocks and good aim.

Tequila murdered the English language on her Myspace page: "Dudes was throwing huge stone rocks in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage and they even took the sh*t out of the port-o-potty and threw sh*t and piss at me when I was onstage."

Did You Know?

Miller High Life was put on the market in 1903 and is Miller Brewing's oldest brand. And it is the only beer that has been certified by the US government as tasting exactly like a pregnant woman's morning piss.

"I was actually using my own poo," said Juggalo-for-life Glenn "Monoxide-Fan" Herschberg, 46. "I had a huge hoagie for dinner last night, so I really didn't need to borrow anyone else's.

The concert goers, fans of Insane Clown Posse, who apparently put out some albums once, were initially receptive to the Asian meat-hole, but after singing, dancing, and cursing for over 20 minutes, delaying the appearance of the Posse, The Juggalos had enough.

"Yo, y'all Jugallos, what is more entertaining? Two 40-year-old white guys in clown make-up trying to rap and spraying Faygo on you, or throwing bottles and turds at Tila Tequila?"

After pausing for a moment, the crowd answered by hurling more sh-t and bottles of Miller High-Life at Tequila.

Make anthonyrosania's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

6 21 10 9
59 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more