Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 12 August 2010

image for Throckmorton P. Turdblossom Inspires Cult Hair Movement
Two dudes with the Phoenix Tussle. We agree that it looks better with grey hair.

Catching on like wildfire across college campuses and with poorly known but self-absorbed cable science channel commentators, the famous Samuel L. Clemens / Albert Einstein hairstyle is apparently back in vogue.

Launched quite innocently by TheSpoof's own bastion of boldness, Throckmorton P. Turdblossom, though never intending for his personal style to become anything that anyone would aspire to, the now famous grey, "I've just been electrocuted" look, has apparently become the new "Justin Beiber".

Phoenix hairstylist Naomi Imoan tells TheSpoof, "We do have to turn away several people interested in the cut, because it requires at least 6 inches of existing hair. Can't do anything for those former Taylor Lautner wanna-be's".

The actual styling of the hair is quite simple, as demonstrated by Ms. Imoan. After a quick hair wash in harsh laundry detergent, she directs her customer to the alley where a gas powered leaf blower awaits. "Five minutes of artificial wind blown action and the style is ready for about a half can of hair spray. There you have it".

Reached for comment late in the afternoon after an extended period on the commode, Mr. Turdblossom first apologized for being late for the interview, "Sorry about that. Extra chilies in the breakfast omelet you know. All I do is jump in my Miata with wet hair and the top down. That's it. No maintenance. No female interest in me either, but the hair is no maintenance".

Turdblossom managed the last laugh by trademarking the style in the tradition of Paul Mitchell. "I'm calling it the Tombstone Tussle, and now you'll have to pay me to look like me", says Turdblossom. "For women interested in the look, we're calling it the Phyllis Diller".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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