Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Theft, Bank Robbery

Thursday, 12 August 2010

image for "Granddad Bandit" Arrested After He Calls FBI to Complain About His Nickname
Do I Look Like a Granddad?

BATON ROUGE, La. - Michael Francis Mara is accused of robbing banks throughout the eastern US. In all, he's said to have robbed at least 25 banks in 13 states over the past two years. He would still be out there robbing banks if it weren't for the billboards the FBI had put up with his face and the title "Granddad Bandit" plastered all over the country.

A call from Mara himself is what brought his crime spree to an end. Mara accused the FBI of falsely labeling him a Granddad just because he had a few grey hairs on his balding head. He told the FBI, if you're gonna do me like that, I may as well just turn myself in. Nobody likes to be called a granddad prematurely." Mara also told the FBI that he didn't even have any grandkids. That they'd gotten him all wrong and it just wasn't any fun if they were mislabeling him that way.

Upon his arrest, Mara turned to his wife and asked her "Honey, honestly, do I look that old to you?" His wife, whom he'd only married a year ago, replied incredulously "No, of course not, but banks, Mike, you robbed banks?" Mara just kind of gave her a smile and said "Thank God. I just hope the guys in prison don't make me out to be some kinda old geezer. I can't think of anything worse than that."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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