Surprising results from a British media survey into the BP Gulf Of Mexico oil spill reveals that the vast majority of British people don't give a shit, and the remainder don't give two shits.
Spokesman for the British, Winston Buddha, from Birmingham, England (not Alabama) told our reporter:
"They're some cheeky bastards, them Yanks. The trouble with them is that they're clueless about events beyond their borders. Thick as fuck. They're coming out with all these anti-British rants about BP, without even realising that BP is owned by a majority of American shareholders, and that any gulf drilling had to have been authorised by the Republican Bush administration. So, like, duh... Homer Simpson moment or what?"
Consequently, most Brits really don't give a fuck.
In much the same way that America didn't give a fuck about the Union Carbide Bhopal disaster - where 30 years later, people can't get compensation because of a fucked up US legal system - or Buncefield, where US/French oil companies annihilated a town and still play remuneration games through the international legal system.
Did America give a fuck when mainland Britain was being bombed to hell and back by the IRA?
No - they came up with NORAID.
And they wonder why Britons don't give a fuck. Because your shrimps are a little gloopy. Wouldn't do much harm if some of you people went on a diet. And stopped gas-guzzling. But you won't.
Like, wake up and smell the coffee...
More controversial news as we get it.