Full body scanners at the Republican National Convention in 2012? "Yes," says Sarah Palin in a new Twitter post. "It is time to find out just who has them and who doesn't have them. Cojones will be a vital part of our 2012 platform and it is about time the American public knows who's got em and who doesn't. To show the way, I will be the first delegate to be scanned. Todd will be watching the convention from an un-disclosed location with Dick Cheney."
As organizers of the convention rushed to establish ground rules for the body scans,a few of the details have emerged. Fearful, that too many men would be excluded and the convention floor would be mostly women, the rules have been amended. Any man carrying a loaded weapon into the hall will be automatically admitted. A convention organizer states, "Of course, the weapon takes the place of Cojones. The NRA told us so!
In related news, local media outlets have reported that Cod Pieces are flying off the shelves of local sporting goods stores. "Don't want to buy just before the convention," said one delegate. "I'll also take my loaded .38. In other words, I'll have a piece in my hand, and a piece in my pants. It's like having a pair and a spare!"