In a scene guaranteed to blow the stacks off the rabid Right, who insist no religion except Christianity should be worshipped within a 10,000 mile radius of Ground Zero, a herd of even-toed ungulates was spotted meandering around Ground Zero today, looking for something to munch on. They were apparently oblivious to the brouhaha surrounding the proposed Islamic cultural center to be located within blocks of the historic site.
"Oh my God, Oh my God, is all I can say," said Harvey Woods, a tourist from Alabama wearing a T-Shirt emblazoned with an American flag and the words, "We Will Never Forget", as a herd of 17 camels grazed leisurely in the background. "This is proof we are being overrun by those damn Rag Heads. At first I thought I was seeing things. But sure 'nuf, I walked right up to one of 'em and it spit a mouthful of shrubbery in my face. I felt like I'd just been hit between the eyes by a 747. This is America, and there ain't supposed to be camels here. Nothing in Christianity has anything to do with camels. I defy you to find anything in the Bible about camels! They are dirty, disgusting creatures. Look! Now there are two of them gettin' it on! OH MY GOD! Somebody stop it! This is hallowed ground, for Chrissakes!"
A stream of New York pedestrians, representing religions from all over the world, pointedly walked around Mr. Woods while ignoring his pleas, barely audible over the din of the "City that Never Sleeps".
Eventually, the caravan of wayward camels was led by Animal Control over to Chinatown, where they are expected to end up as either Sweet and Sour Pork, General Tso's Chicken or some kind of dumpling. With the excitement over, Mr. Woods took a cab, driven by an Islamic terrorist from India, two blocks to the trashy warehouse that lies at the center of the Right's latest attempt to foment hate before the November elections, so he could give it the finger, and was stabbed by a crazy-assed homeless person of European descent when he exited the cab.