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Topics: Dogs, rescue, Lassie

Saturday, 7 August 2010

image for Lassie Leaves Timmy Down The Well
Lassie is a little bit fed up with Timmy.

Through an interpreter (the Dog Whisperer), Lassie has informed local police the she has no plans to tell them which well Timmy is in. The famous collie, who has saved the boy from caves, fires, storms, lions, wolves, bears, snakes, wells, collapsing buildings, and several other life threatening situations, has said that she has had enough.

"If Timmy actually took care of me, it would be one thing. The kid forgets to feed me half the time, never brushes me, forgets to let me out (and then gets mad when I have accidents inside), doesn't take me in for my shots, never loosens my collar as I grow, doesn't give me a new flea and tick collar, and generally ignores me."

"Then, when he's in trouble, it's Lassie this and Lassie that and Lassie save me. I'm just tired of his shit. The little fucker can get his own ass out of the well."

"I call dibs on his bed."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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