It finally happened! While the United States military was busy fighting wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, North Korea, Venezuela and Somalia. The prophecy of the" Reconquista" of Arizona by Mexico became a reality last week. This event was predicted by American prophet Luis Ludobbotomy (aka) "Nuestrodummy"
Arizona's Falx news affiliate "WELY" is reporting that a well armed group Mexican grass root bandidos mounted an unexpected amphibious, air and ground attack and have annexed Arizona.to Mexican teritory.
According to reports from the battlefield. As many as six hand-propelled Aqua-float air tubes took part in the operation. Captain Hinodoro Salido del Rio quietly navigated the Colorado river with the six tube flotilla. The agile captain made a sudden stop and anchored them babies in the middle of the Colorado. A couple of seconds later amphibious well armed "hombres ranas" wearing wet suits crossed into Arizona.
A herd of angry-gringo-hungry chupacabrones jumped ship as well. They started moving afoot towards phoenix. The blood hungry hemohomovivorous pack quickly encountered a group of redneck vigilantes. As the whiskey driven moonshiners got ready for battle. The starving chupacabrones started to salivate when they saw the reflection of the aorta and the delicious red juice that was flowing through the succulent engorged neck. The chupacabrones quickly went into a chupagringos throat hickey-capillary draining-maneuver, The inebriated potbelly-toothless rednecks were never a match for the neck ripping dentition of the ferocious hemohomovivorouus
Suddenly from the south The Mexican air force flew into battle. A gargantuan hot air balloon aircraft carrier appeared. Powered by a large three hundred pound L.Rushbo hot air generator. The chicanery attack was going as planned. Over two hundred alien looking humanoid winged Chicanos, members of the Mexican elite force "The flying Wilfredos" flew down into the rockies. For miles around the usually patriotic media hatemonger-gullible-hillbillies changed their mind about taking America back, The rifle totting Hillbillies dropped their rifles and jumped into the grand canyon, Ditto for the hillgomers and hilljoes.
Americas last line of defense was a group of unemployed minuteman vigilantes and trailer park non-racist teabaggerrs. They were taking part in a KKK lynch the illegal alien freedom concert. When the prostate compromised premature ejaculating minuteman saw the heavily armed cavalry of Mules, Burritos,Donkeys tumble-weed blowers and weed-whacking vaqueros that were jockeing them into battle.They ran so quick that they are now referred as the "one secondman militia". Word is quickly spreading that they will all join the Mexican Olympic track team next year..
The non-racist teabaggers led by rear admiral Sergio Paladino decided not to fight. They dropped their racist signs. Amazingly this band of charlatan switch to the Mexican side and quickly changed their name to the Tea-quilas. When Paladino saw the troops surrender he screamed in anger, 'Is Jan Screwer the only person left in this country with a pair cojones?
FALSE news affiliate (WELY) released an un-edited picture of Mexican general and veteran of many desert battles Gustavo Saguaro jr. celebrating the victory. Standing in front of Arpaios sand covered SWAT tank. He is seen holding a large sign that read "MISION CUMPLIDA". A Mexican yellow bird of paradise flower Bush was noticeable on the left side of the picture. Far on the background, on the same picture a bright red light was seen shinning. It was Americas spineless sheriff Joe Arpaio's sweaty bright red nose glaring in the sun,. He was hiding behind a large saguaro cactus wearing a pair of pink panties with a rectal discharge brown stain on the back.
When Commander of the U. S. forces in Afganistan General Petraeus received news of Arizona's collapse. He call for an emergency news conference. He looked really angry when he said."These people come to America to do the work Americans can't do. Send them to me so they can help me do the job Americans can't do here either"
But is not all bad news for the South West. Already Arizona has seen some interest in political re-alignment Sara Palin spoke early this morning about her new a new political movement called the Tea-Juana's,. By early afternoon she had already received endorsement from Romney Dangerfield, and Mike Hukabyebaby.
The boycotts have also stopped and many new business are planning to open.
So far Glenn Beck is committed to opening "Post Armageddon Bodega. Since Americans went broke and have no money he is kind enough to offer his clients a Gold line of credit. You can exchange the value of your gold coins and use the credit to purchase Survival Seeds, Food Insurance, Patriotic Costumes, Arpaio Bubba Bobbing Belly doll, Testosterone Free Obama Missing Cojones (pinga not included) or his new book ' "They Took America Back"
To celebrate the grand opening he is offering a two for one special you buy a Pancho Villa costume you get a Santa Ana mask free.
Former e-bay CEO Meg (the vacillator) Whittman and war hero John (dos caras) McCain are partnering in a new business adventure as well. So far they appeared confused and don't know what to do. They are not sure whether they are going to open deportation agency or a welcome to America Amnesty green greeting card. They are conducting a demographic study in order to figure out which venture is more profitable.
Great American impersonator "Lechon Hannity" just purchased the old Tombstone theatre. Once is remodeled he promises to feature local talent. Rumor has it that the grand opening performance is already under work. The reincarnation of "Tales Trom the Crypt" featuring, Jan "state" screwier" Brewer as the "Crypt Keeper" Lechon Hannity believes that Brewer gives validity to the term re-incarnation. "The screwier was definitely re-incarnated at one time" Lechon said. I believe no human can get so dumb in just one lifetime.