Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 3 August 2010

image for Sean Hannity Says That He Is Not Afraid Of The South of The Border Drug Cartels
A chemist employed by The Green Guacamole Drug Cartel putting together a drug shipment bound for Tucson, Arizona.

JONESBORO, Arkansas - Sean Hannity was in Jonesboro visiting the city that is known as The Cornbread Capital of The World.

As he toured The Ma and Pa Kettle Cornbread Factory, he was asked about the alleged threats that one of Mexico's top drug cartels have made against him.

Hannity laughed. He took a bite of his okra and moonshine flavored piece of cornbread and replied that he has never been afraid of no one and that includes the Ku Klux Klan, the American Nazi Organization, The Sons of The Kamikaze Rain, The Warrior Braves of Sitting Bull, and The IRA, who have audited him nine times in the past four years alone.

Sean, who has been nicknamed Fred Flintstone, by fellow GOPer Ann "Trigger Face" Coulter said that truth be told he is not really sure that these so-called drug cartels even exist.

When Freddy, as his wife calls him, was shown photos, video, and tapes of the nefarious group he just smiled and said that they could be fake and that the people in the photos, video, and tapes look like actors from The Baja California Actor's Guild, of which he just happens to be a member.

Pablo Pedro Salsa De Fuego, leader of Yucatan's notorious Green Guacamole Drug Cartel, remarked that Mr. Hannity does not realize it but his group knows more about him, and has more information about him than his mother, his wife, and his girlfriend all put together.

Salsa De Fuego said that they know that he has three cavities, a very bad dandruff problem, inflamed tonsils, tennis elbow, archery arches, and ingrown eyebrows.

SIDENOTE: The rumor that the Green Guacamole Drug Cartel has a U.S. chapter in Green River, Wyoming has been substantiated by the Yellowstone National Park Forest Rangers Union.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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