Written by Skoob1999
Print this
Topics: Bears, Euthanasia, cute

Monday, 2 August 2010

image for Mama Bear Euthanized (Killed)
Shoot Him Or He'll Eat You.

Real sad news for bear lovers this morning, as news emerges that the Mama bear whose cub got caught up in a camper's fishing net (as seen on worldwide TV) has been euthanized.


Put down.

Poor ole Momma Bear, who went on the offensive in desperation because her cubs were starving and malnourished, attacking campers and any available food source, was apparently struggling to feed her cubs.

When one of her cubs got caught up in the fishing net, Momma Bear captured the hearts of the nation as she struggled to free the distraught cub from the fishing net.


But when Momma bear and her cubs were picked up by Forest Rangers, the cubs were deemed to be malnourished - and the Momma Bear was subsequently euthanized. (Killed)

Because she wasn't such a good Momma after all.


Further studies using comparative analysis statistics reveal that if human 'unfit Mommas' were to be 'Euthanized' using the same criteria as that applied to the bear, that the Western world would save $3 trillion in welfare payments and be able to refloat the Western economies.

Seasoned hunters insisted that hungry, aging bears do pose a threat, because they have eight inch claws that could tear your face right off, and teeth that could snap your spine.

And they wouldn't hesitate to do it.

One seasoned hunter told us:

"They ain't so cute when they're ripping your Granny limb from limb on your camping vacation getaway. The only real answer is to euthanize 'em. In other words - shoot the fuckers. They are kinda dangerous."

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

4 2 3 9
65 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more