Written by Dogooder Dave
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Topics: White House, Media

Saturday, 16 April 2005

image for President Bush Arrested on Molestation Charges
President Bush & his special little friend

White House Presidential spokesperson Kid Fiddler, shocked media correspondents gathered this morning for President Bush's weekly presentation on Cross Stitch for Beginners.

Mr Fiddler announced that the President was currently incarcerated at The Monroe Special Offender Institute following his arrest at 6am this morning.

Officers acting on information reported to them by Great Britains' Chancellor of the Exchequer, Gordon Brown, carried out a precision dawn raid and are still at The White House collecting evidence.

Mr Brown had become concerned following several trips made by his young friend Tony to visit Mr Bush at his homes in Washington, Houston and fantasyland country retreat, Camp David. On occasion Tonys' head of state Queen Elizabeth II, had been present on those short visits and the three of them have been photographed at various banquets, film premieres and invasions of countries believed to hold weapons of mass destruction.

A whispering campaign had built up when observers, gathered to wave President Bush off on a recent bombing trip, had noticed that young Tony appeared dressed in the exact same style as his big friend. Reports of Tony Blair being seen sitting on the Presidents' lap at a recent G8 summit reached the ears of Mr Brown who obtained a video recording of a press conference held by the two world dominators. On watching the video Mr Brown was alarmed to see President Bush licking little Tonys' head as he passed him a can of diet coke and resolved that enough was enough.

Events moved swiftly following a call by Mr Brown the next morning to a leading compensation lawyer. Contracts were quickly drawn up and signed before the law firm of Whip Ass R' Us reported these serious concerns to Washington DC Child & Family Services Division.

It is believed that undercover investigations have gone on since these allegations of impropriety were first made, late last year. These concluded that there are concerns that President Bush has enticed other world leaders to his homes and on occasion inveigled his way into their humble abodes spending entire nights watching videos and reading questionable military intelligence reports in the bedrooms of Heads of State and Prime Ministers around the world.

It is reported that following forensic examination of The White House investigators will search other premises for evidence. Of particular concern is Camp David where the President is known to have had several little leaders dressed as cowboys before saddling them up and riding them round the range.

Mr Bush is known to have had a difficult childhood, propelled into the glare of public life by his domineering father and problem beset mother. George Bush junior is believed to have been bullied by his now ageing father into invading foreign countries and canniving to control world oil prices. Eminent Child Psychologist, Dr Hans Upshortz, stated that "While the Presidents' childhood may explain some of his fascination for dressing up as a soldier, it is still no excuse for taking advantage of those with direct responsibility for governing his various puppet theatres around the globe."


Friends of The President are maintaining that Mr Bush will be proven innocent of any wrongdoing and allege that such scurrilous tales are only being perpetuated by a power crazed Chancellor desperate for money to prop up his ailing economy. They point out that Mr Brown is known to have tried to get money out of the Germans and more recently the Chinese for some little known car building enterprise and that this nasty little rumour is just that, a wicked attempt at extortion.

Little Tony Blair was unavailable for comment at time of going to press but a spokesman said that "Tony idolises President Bush. He has called him the coolest guy in the world and we seriously doubt that Mr Bush would ever make Tony do anything improper such as invade a foreign power on false pretences".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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