In a Blog post that rocked the US and startled the world, Andrew Breitbart disclosed today that Jesus Christ was a communist. "There is no doubt about it," said Breitbart, "Jesus was an avowed communist, a fellow traveler, and a conspirator that sought to destroy his country and take over the world." Breitbart then disclosed various documents he had un-earthed to prove his point. Fox news took his Blog and ran with it all day long and into the evening news programs.
"Sermon on the Mount is Commie dogma," reported Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck on thier daily programs. "I knew it all along," reported Brit Hume," looking like he was somewhat bilious. "It makes me cry," said Glenn Beck on the air. "I knew there was something fishy about the guy."
Fox Business News reported the story about Jesus overturning the money lender's tables in the temple. "Jesus opposed big business," said anchor Brian Sullivan. "We know from eye witness reports that Jesus screamed as he went on his terrorist rampage, "No Temple is too big to fail" and "no more tax breaks for the wealthy."
Other conservative talk show hosts and Blogs ran with the story of the Sermon on the Mount. The Wall Street Journal printed a headline that read, "Jesus Capitulated to Terrorists. Obama Next?" The story quoted Jesus in the sermon stating, "You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you." The article finished with a statement in bold print that reads, "No More Jesus/Care! The editorial cartoon featured a picture of Jesus with a Hitler mustache and making the Nazi salute
while raising someone from the dead, for free!