New York, NY-- Chelsea Clinton will marry Ed Mezvinsky Jr. in a Satanic wedding this Sunday. The wedding will take place at the Dakotas apartment building on the Upper West Side in Manhattan. Luminaries from the New World Order and the Illuminati will all be there. Pope Benedict XVI will don his black robes and marry the unhappy couple after saying a Black Mass.
All the important people will attend "The Wedding To End The World." The Bushes, the Obamas, and the British royal family will all be there. Exactly 666 people will be on the guest list.
Chelsea plans to wear a black dress for the ceremony. Her hair will be streaked red, with the blood of unbaptised babies. Chelsea's 13 bridesmaids are all virgins, and will be sacrificed to Satan during the hour-long ceremony. Elton John will be on hand to sing.
After the pope pronounces the happy couple 'man and wife', there will be an orgy of extremely perverted sex and incredible violence. Chelsea will mate with her new husband and conceive the Anti-Christ in front of her 666 guests. She will then behead her new husband and eat his brains. It should be a helluva wedding!