Vladmir Putin, not known to have a stylish sense of humour, surprised even his harshest critics as he shocked the White House when a Russian Ambassador delivered an unexpected birthday gift to President Barry Obama today in the form of a 7 tiered cake inscribed with the now famous Hillary Clinton foreign policy phrase "RESET."
As Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, imagining yet another heart warming photo op to showcase the President's international fan club called together the first family as well as pool reporters and close staff, the room was plunged into shocked silence after the first few bars of "happy birthday' were sung,
Suddenly the top of the cake exploded, and outstepped red headed femme fatale Anna Chapman wearing nothing but American Flag tassels on her breasts, and a red thong proclaiming: RESET THIS!
A beaming russian ambassador explained that the offering was directly from Putin who felt that by repatriating the perky spy the US and Russia could continue their current relationship insuring that Obama would make good on his proposal to completely disarm the United States leaving them at the mercy of a 4' North Korean dictator or a tap dancing clown from Labia (sic).
VP Joe Biden, just passing through to the White House bar for a quick
pick me up with Chris Dodd, was heard to exclaim..."Now that's a Big
F*****g deal....hey babe, how would you like to massage this," before he was hustled out of the room and taken where they usually take Dorky VPs with big lips, hair plugs and a sex problem.
Live action coverage, luckily only granted to MSNBC, was cut immediately assuring that only 39 people had seen the embarrassing incident, and those were Bureaucrats from Homeland Security who happened to be surfing the net looking for Porn after getting bored at looking at naked X-rays of 85 year old grandmothers at airports.
Said Leon Panetta, CIA Chief, staring at Anna's thong covered damp crotch, "that girl needs to be seriously debriefed," before directing that she be taken to his personal safe house where he regularly hosts Friday night sex parties for Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid where they 'really get a chance to let their hair down."
According to Reverend Wright, Obama's religious and spiritual mentor, he was the only one that saw the additional irony in the hidden message from the Russian dictator.
"Everybody knows that Barry don't like that White Cake...he only like that
triple fudge chocolate cake...for Vladmir to send him that Kahula "White" Russian cake is just another racist insult. God Damn Russia...Putin too,
and to hell with America....let them eat sweet potata pie...and love it!"
PS: Nancy Pelosi likens 'waterboarding' to a 'Golden Shower' according to
a source close to Panetta who has seen the video.