Written by Charpa93

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Topics: Lindsay Lohan, DUI

Friday, 23 July 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Claims Mary Kennedy Should Rot in Jail

When Lindsay Lohan heard the news that Mary Kennedy, wife of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. (don't even try to figure out which one he is) got nary so much as a slap on the wrist for driving drunk in May of this year, Lohan was furious.

"Just who the hell does this Kennedy woman think she is?" said Lohan. "Here I sit in prison for the same damned thing and she gets off, why? Because she's a Kennedy? Big freaking whoop ti do. She should be sitting in jail just like me. Better yet," yelled Lohan, "we both should be free to do whatever the hell we want and not have to put up with this rotten, broken legal system."

Jailers tried to assuage Lohan's anger with gifts of chocolates and booze, but it didn't help much. Meanwhile, Mary Kennedy issued her own statement which stated "When Lindsay Lohan has lived as much pain as I have, then she can have an opinion. Until then, she needs to shut the hell up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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