Written by Zabdgrov667
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 18 July 2010

image for Poll Indicates That Liberals Believe Bush Is a GOD
"W" in his "youth" - as illustrated by Liberals.

ARKHAM, MASSACHUSETTS - As political and economic troubles continue in the US, the American media still insists that President Obama is doing the best job that can be expected in a situation of Herculean adversity. However, using Christina Romer's 2009 forecast of 9% unemployment if no effort was made to "save the economy," Conservative critics see 10% unemployment after more than $800 BILLION of "Stimulus" as a sign that either President Obama is worse than Jimmy Carter, or the Democrats have nothing but morons writing their economic policies.

Responding to negative criticism, the Obama administration has repeated the same line for more than a year and a half - "Blame Bush." Unfortunately, many Americans question how Bush was "able to break Obama's promises."

How did Bush stop Obama from closing Gitmo?

How did Bush prevent Obama from making legislation available online so Americans could question the costs, Constitutionality, and benefits of the bills?

How did Bush force Obama to keep Healthcare debates hidden from the public (CSPAN)?

There are many more questions, such as Bush's role in killing the Chicago 2016 Olympics bid. In search of answers, investigators and political analysts were consulted, and they agreed that the Presidential Powers of George W. Bush ended in January 2009 (February at the latest). Republicans generally claim that "W" has been writing a book in Texas for more than a year, and that Obama's lack of success is the result of his inexperience, clinging to radical Liberal ideology, and refusal to change after "failed" policies continue to fail. Others have "harsher" views, saying that America's decline is from Obama's DELIBERATE "Socialist" effort to ensure America is no better than any third-world country.

The Democrat Party Super-Majority after the 2008 election made it mathematically IMPOSSIBLE for GOP efforts to stop legislation by the Democrats. Independent political analysts use this fact to contradict Liberals' crying about GOP opposition stopping Obama. As one Libertarian (anti-Liberal) put it, "Liberals are LOSERS that will use any excuse, as wrong as one-plus-one-equals-three, to blame somebody else when they create a total Cluster-F**K."

In order to scientifically analyze events where Obama's nose-diving approval ratings had correlation or causation probability relative to "W" Bush, Miskatonic University in Massachusetts polled Americans from all 50 states, with a statistically broad selection of all political affiliations.

Survey participants were asked to explain 20 instances where a President Obama policy had "failed" or produced "below average" results. Respondents were asked to select the best explanation for each "disappointment" being one of the following:

  • Obama's lack of experience was to blame.
  • Obama is a clueless buffoon whose only talent is teleprompter reading.
  • Obama is a puppet of Special Interests that "bought" the Oval Office.
  • Obama lied, and keeps on lying.
  • Obama is a Marxist, attempting to destroy America and Capitalism.
  • Obama is a Muslim, seeking to destroy the US Constitution and rule with an Iranian-style theocracy (or annihilate America if it will not submit).
  • Bush is a Super-Super-Genius that manipulates people, governments, and multi-national corporations. (Conspiracy Theory)
  • Bush bends the fabric of reality, warps time, controls hurricanes, causes earthquakes, and creates tsunamis because he can ... and he's trying to ruin Obama's presidency because he's jealous.

 
For Liberals, each problem that got worse under Obama, the only answer they could accept was "Blame Bush." Liberals felt the only explanation for their failure to achieve a "Utopia" was someone named "W" who possessed inexplicable power beyond human imagination, somehow overcoming the "much smarter" Obama.

Professor Herman van Koolhaus, PhD, who led the social research project observed that non-Liberals attributed Obama's shortcomings to several factors, but consistently felt Obama now "owned" America's problems. Simply put, "the buck stops here" means the blame eventually goes on the Oval Office.

Below are examples where some non-Liberal responses were significantly favored:

  • "Chicago Losing 2016 Olympic Bid" explanation - Obama clueless, can only read teleprompter.
  • "Bailouts" (multiple cases) explanation - Obama puppet of special interests.
  • "Federal Funding of Abortion" (promise broken) explanation - Obama lied, and keeps on lying.
  • "Demanding $20 billion from BP without Trial" explanation - Obama is a Marxist (ignores law for "socialist" goals).


One surprise came at the end of the survey where respondents were asked to add comments:

  • Supported Obama's "policies of ruin and destruction" - 82% of all Anarchists.

Make Zabdgrov667's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 5?

6 15 20 23

Go to top