DODGE CITY, Kansas - Veterinarian Dr. Montrose D. Brushyboo has said that he has studied half a dozen of Mel Gibson's out-of-control tapes and he is 98 percent certain that Gibson most probably is afflicted with Mad Cow Disease.
Dr. Brushyboo said that Alec Baldwin and David Hasselhoff are two other semi well known celebrities who also exhibited the same symptoms as Mr. Gibson has.
The doctor stressed that one of the main traits of MCD is that the individual has to yell out at the top of his lungs.
He added that when he does, he practically runs out of air and at the end of his sentences.
The person can then be heard breathing very heavily, probably like the degree of heavy breathing that say 603 pound Gabourey Sidibe would be doing after just having finished doing the "Wild Thang" if you will.
Doctor Brushyboo was asked if there is a cure for MCD. He smiled and said that there is but that it is presently still somewhat in the experimental stages.
He pointed out that a research scientist in Kankakee, Illinois, Dr. Roscoe "Skippy" McMosaic, 83, has found that if the individual who is afflicted with MCD eats a sandwich made from the udder of a dairy cow, the chances of the MCD being totally eradicated are about 1 in 2.
The doctor also pointed out that there is an Eskimo village up in Northern Alaska where half of the village males had MCD.
The town council purchased half a dozen dairy cows from a farmer in Wisconsin and after about a week, half of the Eskimos who had MCD were completely cured of the dreaded disease.
SIDENOTE: Doctor Brushyboo said that there is one side affect though. He said that roughly 32 percent of those who are cured develop an insatiable desire to want to go outside and stampede.