Former Vice President Dick Cheney disclosed Wednesday that he has undergone still another surgery to install a small pump to help his heart work, as the 69-year-old enters a new phase of what he called "increasing congestive heart failure."
The former VP also apologized to a nurse at the hospital for shooting her in the face.
"I am very sorry that that happened but she was really getting into the sponge bath thing and my 'gun' suddenly went off", stated the Dickster.
"As far as the operation went, it went very well and I am now recuperating," a still-hospitalized Cheney said in a statement.
The nurse, a cousin of Monica Lewinsky, says that she doesn't know why this stigma has to stay in her family.
"I was trying to do a good job and the big thing just went off!"
When asked, she stated that it had never happened to her before.
"Although, there was that case of projectile diarrhea that hit seventeen nurses, nurses aids and an orderly with a cork last year."
"That's a standard BP type joke around here", stated the orderly when asked about the incident.