PANAMA CITY, Florida - First Lady Michelle Obama, aka "Da First Mama" was in town speaking before a meeting of The Panama City Mothers For Nice, Clean, Tidy Tar Ball Free Beaches.
She was asked if she feels that her husband's administration is doing all that it possibly can to deal with this catastrophic BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill mess.
Mrs. Obama, licked her lips, rolled her eyes, and answered, "Why of course my man, I mean the president, be doin' all dat he possibly can be doin' and den sum."
"Like what" she was asked.
"Like...first of all what be yo name hun?"
"My name be, I mean, my name is Matilda Sue Fickenbickerfoot, and I am a life long resident of Panama City."
The first lady laughed.
Fickenbickerfoot asked if she was making fun of her last name.
And Mrs Obama, replied, "Ah, no actually, I was making fun of your first name Matilda. I once had a teacher named Matilda Schwartzpitt, and she, like yourself also had blue hair and wore it up in an old-fashioned 50s beehive do (hairdo)."
Mrs. Fickenbickerfoot said that she did not appreciate her making fun of her blue beehive hairdo, which she had paid $47 for.
The first lady asked her if she had kept the receipt.
Suddenly the mayor of Panama City, Scott Clemons, stood up and said, "Mrs. Obama, please we are here to talk about the mother effen tar balls that are about 3 miles from our lovely white pristine sand beaches. And all of us could really give a rat's ass about Matilda Sue's damn blue beehive hairdo for damn sakes."
Mrs. Obama became quite upset. "Okay, now fust of all Mayor Clementine (Clemons) you will not be cussing in my presence.
I suggests dat if ya wanna cuss dat ya gets your fat old ass over ta your mama's house and cuss in front of her. And secondly, doncha ever think dat ya can talk ta me like ya be talkin' ta sum skany bitch ho's like Ann 'Trigger Face' Coulter or Naomi "The Mean Ass Mama" Campbell.
I be's an attorney, a wife, a mamy, and I am da main mama of da main man of dis here country and I can have you arrested fo disrespecting your country's first lady, dat be me chump...comprendivous honky?"
"Yes. You win. It seems like you Obama's always win."
"Well at least ya gots dat right, Skippy. Now let me get my next question."
You over there way in the back of the back, by the womens bathroom door, the little black brother wearing the Miami Dolphins football helmet.
"Ah Mrs. Obama is you be or is you not be on your period perhaps or sumtin?"
Mrs. Obama asked what kind of a smartass question was that and from a fellow African-American to boot.
Just then Mrs. Obama was informed by her secret service agent that the time for the meeting had expired and they had to leave to catch Air Force one to fly to Capistrano Beach, California, and tour an area of America that has not been ruined by the Louisiana tar balls.
SIDENOTE: Michelle Obama was so angry at the way that she was treated in Panama City that she said she is going to tell her husband to cut off all governmental funding to the city effective this weekend.