Dateline Tehran: Mahmoud Ahmadinajab today volunteered the services of his professional stoners to Mel Gibson if he converted to Islam. Gibson, an ultra-conservative Catholic, has recently been making headlines for his screaming diatribes directed at his live-in Ho, Oksana Grigorieva. Caught on tape calling the mother of his child every name in the book, Gibson has also admitted hitting Oksana on occasion.
"Nothing wrong with that," says Ahmadinajab. "I understand that Mr. Gibson also said that she dressed so provocatively that she might be raped by (derogative name for blacks). Not to worry, my friend. We have a way of modifying their behavior by burying them up to their necks in sand and throwing stones at them."
I guess if that doesn't work, they can nuke em.