Written by Morgan Truce
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Topics: Smoking, Court

Friday, 18 November 2005

image for Nancy Grace Turns in Pot-Smoking Sister
Nancy: "...no skin off my nose!"

ATLANTA (AP) Nancy Grace, a Court TV analyst and former Atlanta prosecutor is now a rising star on CNN. Rising ratings and even rumors of replacing Larry King have not seemed to satisfy the often-abrasive Nancy Grace. Many TV viewers believed that Nancy Grace is the type of person that would prosecute her own mother. Just this past week, Nancy Grace proved the point: she turned in her own sister for smoking pot. "I'm very busy stepping on everyone's toes over at CNN, but I can always manage to find the time to bust someone who breaks the law. Sure, people are going to say that I'm heartless for busting my own sister, but I gotta' tell you: that girl broke the law and I'm going to make sure she does a lot of hard time!"

"I get a lot of satisfaction out of appearing on CNN and sticking it to all those famous people who've run afoul of the law. I get a lot of mail from viewers who say that I'm just a frustrated bitch who hasn't had a date in years. While it is true that I am just a little tense from not having any sex in a long, long time, I try to never let that get in the way of my being fair with lawbreakers. It makes me feel good when I see someone thrown in jail for 40 years ---knowing that I had a part in cutting them off from any kind of normal sexual function."

"Since the case against my sister is still pending, I cannot say much about it besides the fact that she is a HUGE pot smoker who was always hanging around my apartment with her 12 children and that big duffle bag full of ganja. No, I don't care that her kids are going to wind up in foster care - I sure don't have any time to take care of all those little brats!"


Nancy's sister Mary: "Nancy is a heartless
little twit. She used to steal from my stash
and then blame it one one of my kids. I've
been getting even with her... I put some LSD
in the Thermos she takes to CNN."


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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