Written by Alibanger Wanger
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Topics: Names

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

image for Followmeontwitter the most popular baby name of 2010
Little baby Followmeontwitter

The name Followmeontwitter has jumped 214% for baby girls and 195% for baby boys since 2009, putting it in the top ten names for both genders in the year 2010. Statisticians are thrilled to see such an unusual name make such a large jump in popularity for reasons unbeknownst to them.

Aliens, on the other hand, know exactly why the name Followmeontwitter has become popular this new decade. Because parents want their kids to have tons of followers on twitter since the parents didn't have as many followers when the parents themselves were on twitter and now the parents want to live vicariously through their twitter children.

Many of the same aliens are concerned about the longevity of the name Followmeontwitter. "You're better off naming your child something like inaudable alien noise. Twitter will be cool for another year. Your kid won't want a name like Followmeontwitter when they're 10 years old, let alone for the rest of their life" say the aliens. "Look we're going to blow up the world anyway, so it doesn't really matter."

It's all going to hell in a tweetstatus.

Another growing trend has been to put @ at the beginning of baby names, like @aaron.

"That @ thing is finally useful" says someone. "Before, there wasn't much point to it. It's almost easier just to write a 't' than a circle thing around an 'a.' It's like the female condom. Big and annoying. Might as well just fuck a bag." Thanks for that, person. Because we all wanted to picture a female condom in our heads.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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