In a stunning announcement this morning, Paul, the Physic Octopus, has picked Sarah Palin to win the US presidency in 2012. With almost a perfect record in predicting World Cup soccer games, the famous Octopus has given new life to Republican hopes for the next presidential election.
Paul's handlers have issued a statement that reads, "There is no doubt who Paul has picked. It is Sarah Palin. As in the soccer games, he circled both dishes of food, one with a picture of Palin, the other with a picture of Obama. He immediately jumped on the Palin dish and devoured it. Twenty minutes later, he did the same thing, which makes us conclude that Palin is a bit like Chinese food, eat it and twenty minutes later, you are hungry again. But make no mistake, this Octopus prefers Palin!"
Reports say Palin was quite pleased with Paul's pick. "I have always preferred a man with a decent set of tentacles," she told one journalist.
In related news, Michael Steele, Chairman of the RNC, has announced that he has asked Paul to give the keynote address at the Republican national convention in 2012. When asked how the RNC would accomplish this, he replied, "Paul will have a gigantic fish tank on stage, and for thirty five minutes, we and the entire country can watch Paul as he grows fat devouring all of the little fish in the tank."
He finished with his trademark, off beat smile, and said, "As it was said of old, a picture is worth a thousand words!"