With everything up for sale, trade or barter, US President Barack Obama has said to have floated yet another human trafficking scheme, this time to Italy's beleaguered president Silvio Berlusconi.
Following the hush-hush hurry up deal to get Anna Chapman, the red headed White House infiltrator away from a wildly jealous Michelle Obama, Barry is now said to be ready to embark on more multi-national trade offs which insiders liken to his addiction to Fantasy Football.
Berlusconi, said to be under extreme pressure to rid himself of Foxy Knoxy after his twice monthly conjugal visits were revealed by The Spoof, and facing increasing pressure due to alleged considerations by patrons seeking special favours, is said to be ready to move on.
Having Barry hand over Madoff would be a coup for Silvio, since the Vatican is said to have lost $18B in the Ponzi scheme which they entered into as a way to make amends to the Israelis for helping a horde of Nazis escape to warmer climes on Vatican passports while wearing either round collars, or dressed in drag wearing habits.
Silvio is also said to be enamored of the now 24 year old Trailer Park Queen, Lindsay Lohan who is set to do about 14 minutes of her 90 day jail sentence followed by 90 days of rehab at a posh tennis camp in Beverly Hills. The fact that Lindsay has said she goes both ways has not dampened Silvio's ardor, according to his Pool Girl who should know.
Barry, on the other hand, is said to have narrowly avoided a scandal bigger than the Al Gore 'sex crazed poodle' episode, with Michelle overheard saying 'you'd better get that red headed bitch out of here if you know what's good for you," in referring to Anna Chapman and the Pips, her 10 member back up band from Russia that was the opening act for Sir Paul McCartney at a recent White House commission on improving foreign relations.
No sooner had the startling arrests been made than Obama was on the phone to Attorney General Eric Holder and Russian President Dimitry Medvedev saying 'let's make a deal."
It took him 75 days to allow foreign oil skimmers permission to help out with the 'Bush Oil Spill," 6 months to make a decision on to sending more troops to Afghanistan, and 17 months and counting to find his birth certificate, a time line that some in law enforcement find 'suspicious.'
To say that something big has been swept under the rug is an understatement. According to reports from Cyprus where the Russian paymaster was arrested, within minutes of setting bail he was on a Cypriote sponge boat heading out across the harbor to a midnight rendezvous with a Russian Sub, and back home within days.
"Nothing but transparency here, " said Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, " just another example of Barack acting decisive, and Presidential!"
Overheard in the Rose Garden where Barry, Charles Wrangle (sic) and Jesse Jackson were meeting away from prying eyes, was Barry talking about the abrupt action to those who would certainly understand, " Uh....I need to be perfectly, ah, ummm, clear on this matter moving forward....I'd rather get rid of Red than be Dead...don't wanna mess with that Michelle....hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, no sir...not that bitch...she be UGLY! But that Amanda, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, she's a gamer...I think she can be rehabed as long as she is willing to redistribute some of her stuff....hmmm, hmmm, hmmm!"