Written by Harold Q. Fuey
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Topics: Susan Boyle

Friday, 9 July 2010

image for SuBo fanatics take emergency singing lessons!
Sing, sing, sing!

Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies were today scrambling to take singing lessons, after it was announced SuBo is looking for a member of the public to duet with. Entrants must create a video of themselves singing 'Silent Night'.

"It must be me singing with her!" demanded a fanatic. "I can't sing a note, but my wealthy husband has pulled some strings and Elaine Paige is coming in on our private jet later to teach me!"

"It says I can record my video at home, but I'd have to redecorate first of course! I can't have people thinking I'm poor!" said another wealthy fanatic.

"My wealthy husband has booked a TV studio for me to record my entry," boasted another fanatic. "I have the New York Philharmonic coming in to accompany me! A team of Hollywood stylists will make me look beautiful! Mine must be the best!"

One fanatic had a close shave when police stormed her house during her performance. "My neighbour called the police when she thought I was strangling my cat. I explained to them that I was only singing. They told me to never try it again," grumbled the fanatic.

Another fanatic caused $20,000 worth of damage, when every window in her house shattered during her performance. Air traffic had to be diverted away from the nearby airport, after her singing attempt caused interference with Radar.

"Whoever wins will be elevated to super-duper-mega-honourary member. Their username will be displayed in a red colour so bright you'll need to wear sunglasses!" said the head chief fanatic. "Those who don't win will be banned."

"Sending us a red scarf or a Pebbles 'button' won't improve your chances, so don't even bother!" warned a fictitious member of Susan's team.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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