Friends of the late Robert Byrd says that a doctor who saw Byrd often blamed the BP Oil Spill for Byrd's death.
"I realize that the Senator was an old Byrd..let me restate that. I realize that Senator Byrd was an old man but he was in fairly good shape and could have lived to be a hundred if not for that Oil Spill", stated Dr. John J. Johnson of Washington, DC.
After it was pointed out to the good doctor that Senator Byrd had never made the trip down to the coast, he became upset.
"Of course he didn't, you assholes! He was in a wheelchair. Was he to go clogging through the black gooed sand?"
The doctor then explained that the spill worried Senator Byrd and that constantly hearing that all the birds were dying was no help, his own name being Byrd.
"Still he had that sense of humor about not objecting to some of those young ladies he saw on TV cleaning him up."
"It was those other Senators making brownie points and going back and forth to the Gulf and coming back smelling of oil and dead birds that finally collapsed the Senator's lungs."
Meanwhile, DC police say that they have had plenty of calls from the old Doc and they're getting tired of it. "If anything killed that old Byrd, it was having his nose up Ted Kennedy's ass so much he never got enough oxygen!"
"I'd write it up to 'Beer Fart Lung!'"